The wind picked up, stronger than Jay had ever felt it before. It was hard to believe a week had already past since he had begun classes at Evergreen Forest. He had thought there was nothing to do in Oak Stream. There was even less in Evergreen Forest. Like high school before, there didn’t seem to be a world outside the perimeters of the campus.
His roommate was constantly AWOL. Apart from the first night, he couldn’t recall any other time his roommate had been in the room. For the life of him, Jay couldn’t even remember his name. Oddly enough he had yet to run across Jeremy on campus. After graduation they had slowly drifted apart. It was nothing major, it just sort of happened. Sure it was disappointing, but it seemed effortless. He wouldn’t mind seeing Jeremy, even grabbing a meal with him, but he wasn’t going to go out of his way to call him either.
It was strange how quickly high school slipped away from him. It was no longer a part of his DNA, his identity. None of them said goodbye to each other. There were no graduation parties, no going away parties, none of that. He hadn’t spoken to Kerass since before graduation. The only person who had reached out to him was Lyra and that wasn’t even in person. For a while Damien called him weekly, but eventually the phone calls grew shorter and they grew to realize aside from both being gay and having found each other attractive at one point, they shared nothing in common, but at least things were amicable with Damien. Things didn’t bother him about Damien anymore. The letter from his mother, however, did. While it gave a sense of finality, it hurt him deeper than he thought was imaginable. At the time he was grateful, but in hindsight he wished she would’ve remained a mystery, never to reach out again. His fantasies of a loving mother that thought about him, that wanted him were silenced by words on paper.
Attempting to convince himself that people cared did no good. Nobody understood and he didn’t believe they ever would. He hadn’t even shown his father that letter. He didn’t think he ever could. It had barely been a week and he already felt like he missed high school. He had been lying to himself. That would change though. He did care about his friends, deeply. If he didn’t pursue them, they would definitely lose touch. No one would pursue him, but that didn’t matter. He had been an instigator. Losing sight of what mattered, he promised himself he would stop being passive and act.
Pulling out his phone he called Jeremy. Within two rings, Jeremy picked up. “I was hoping you would call,” Jeremy said. “I was waiting for you to reach out again.”
“I just needed time away,” Jay sheepishly admitted.
“I know. We all reacted to the end of high school differently. It’s truly like a break up.”
“That’s one way of putting it,” Jay replied bewildered by the comparison.
“You wanna meet at the student center? I don’t even know what dorm you’re living at.”
“Stuart.”
“Oh! Lucky, lucky, lucky.”
“Meet you in five?”
“Yeah. That’s fine.”
“Cool, I’ll see you then.”
Hanging up, Jay put his phone back in his pocket. The wind changed direction pushing him along on his journey to the student center. It was as if nature was encouraging him back towards Jeremy. It truly had been far too long.
Kerass breathed through his mouth as he gracefully pulled the barbells back towards his chest. Damien challenged him to lift five more times on the bench press. Kerass grunted in reply.
“Come on, you know you can do this,” Damien said slightly encouraging, slightly laughing to the side.
“You always were stronger than me. You couldn’t help lording that over me the first time we met.”
“Less talking, more lifting,” Damien gently chastised. He encouraged him to push as hard as he could. “Only two more lifts, bud.”
Kerass, with one final push, let out a guttural screech. Damien patted him on the back as Kerass sat up. Kerass grabbed his towel and wiped the sweat off his beet-red face.
“You gotta learn to breathe better broseph.”
“Never call me that again,” Kerass stated glaring at him.
“Whatev man. You’re a little scrawny. When was the last time you hit the gym?”
“It’s been about a year and a half.”
“No! Really?”
“You betcha. I got injured multiple times during football junior year and then senior year I didn’t play. I didn’t overeat, but I neglected my body in other ways.”
“Obviously.”
“Hey, why didn’t Vance join us? I thought you said you two were good friends.”
“Yeah, we are. He’s not a gym person.”
“He stronger than you?”
Damien nodded.
“You’re lying.”
“No, I’m not. He’s definitely got me beat.”
Kerass froze. It was odd seeing Damien be so humble. It wasn’t the Damien he remembered, nor was he the guy he thought he could be comfortable with. Was it even possible to suggest that Damien matured the past two years at college? Moving past his thoughts, Kerass asked if they were meeting Vance for a meal afterwards.
“Yeah, he’s been very interested in meeting you, which if you knew him and how private he is, you’d realize how big of a compliment that is.”
“Why would he be excited to meet me? I’m nothing more than a freshman.”
“Oh come off it, Kerass. Have you lost your confidence in the past two years?”
“Yeah, maybe I have,” Kerass slipped out. He was amazed at how easily he admitted it. “But someone’s been helping me with that.”
“Are we dating someone?”
“No, you’re not dating anyone. I, however, am.”
“A girl?”
“Oh like you have to ask,” Kerass replied joking, but disgruntled at the same time.
“Does this girl have a name?”
“Yes,” Kerass rolled his eyes. “It’s not Cadence by the way.”
“Oh, I knew that. Great girl, but you two were never good together.”
Kerass wasn’t convinced that was true, but he didn’t want to challenge the thought right then. He kept going back and forth on whether they were healthy for each other or not. The communications had been open over the summer, but they always felt forced, awkward. She had started dating someone new and his semester started so the line of communication dropped abruptly, not that Kerass was complaining about that.
“It’s Lyra, isn’t it?” Damien asked.
“No, I haven’t spoken to her at all. How do you even know about her?”
“Jay said some things.”
“Of course he did, that blabbermouth.”
“Well…he is, but he cares for you.”
“Her name’s Jez,” Kerass stealthily replied.
“Will I get to meet her?”
“Sure, I guess. She’s back home. Stayed behind at the community college.”
Damien held up his finger as he took a phone call. Kerass thought this would be the perfect moment to text Jez. She was ravenously beautiful. Their relationship reminded him about Julia a lot, except he didn’t feel like he found Jez on the rebound. She was different, definitely commanding, but she still wanted to hear what he had to say and she always apologized afterwards. There was no need to because they both knew he would always forgive her. Damien’s finger snapping in his face brought him back to the gym.
“He’s ready for us. Come on, let’s go,” Damien said ushering him out.
Jeremy still had trouble finding out where the student center was. Somehow he always got lost on his way around campus. A guy and a girl were standing outside a building. When he read the top, he congratulated himself on finding the student center once again.
“Hey,” the girl called out to him. “You look lost. Do you need help finding where to go?”
“No, actually,” Jeremy replied stating he just found it.
“Are you a freshman?” the guy asked.
Jeremy nodded.
“Ok, well I’m Jaden and this is Pax,” the girl, Jaden, introduced themselves.
“We’ve got a three-question survey for you. It’s for freshmen and we’ll give you candy afterwards,” Pax added.
Jeremy could already tell where this was going. He wanted nothing to do with any surveys, but they had offered at first to help him find where he’s going. “Why don’t we skip the survey and candy altogether and you can just tell me what you’re selling.”
Pax burst out laughing. “I like your style.”
“We’re not supposed to,” Jaden shook her head.
“Who gives a rip? We’re simply answering a question.”
Jaden conceded but continued to glare at Pax the whole time.
“Well, we’re a part of a Christian group on campus and we’re trying to gauge whether people would like to join, at least for one weekly meeting, or an interest meeting for that matter.”
“What’s it called?” Jeremy asked.
“Droplet.”
“When does it meet?”
“Interest meeting’s this Wednesday at 8.”
“Sure, I’ll be there,” Jeremy said nonchalantly, as he started to walk away.
“Can I get your name bud?” Pax called out after him.
“Jeremy.”
The group sounded awesome. He could have Christian community again. He needed a place to vent his struggles to and they always seemed so willing to listen. He knew he wasn’t a good Christian, but that didn’t matter. The main reason he said yes wasn’t what they were thinking though. Jaden was so hot that he couldn’t stop thinking about her.
Julia shook her head. Lyra was having one of her spells again. If she was in pain, Julia could understand, but Lyra was just beating herself up for no particular reason. She wasn’t speaking to her again. Whatever. It didn’t really matter because Julia was going to stay there that day anyways. She believed it was good for Lyra to have someone who sat with her while she was…well, there was no other word for it, she was depressed. It was understandable given the circumstances, but if she talked about it, remained positive, Julia firmly believed it would be a different experience. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard the landline ringing. In a bizarre choice of defiance against the world, Lyra had chosen early on that she would never have a cell phone. It was a long-winded story that Julia truthfully tuned out when Lyra spelled it out to her.
She recognized the voice instantly. “Hey Gus,” Julia replied solemnly. “I’m sorry, I’m not sure if she’s up for talking today.”
“Give me the phone,” Lyra said standing over her shoulder. It was the first time that day Julia had seen her move from the couch.
Lyra had a weird quirk where she held the phone away from her ear. Julia could hear every word Gus was saying and while she knew she should keep her ears shut, she cared too much about Lyra’s well being to not listen in.
“You’re not feeling too hot today, huh?” Gus asked.
“No,” Lyra replied stoically.
“That’s all right. You don’t have to talk about it.”
“You know, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Why didn’t you ask me about it?”
“It’s not my business. I’m reaching out, trying to be a friend. I mean, ever since the bomb threat, you’ve made it clear it wasn’t something you wanted to share with me.”
“Did you know then?”
“No.”
“I want my life to be different.”
Gus took a long time to respond, which deeply concerned Julia. She drew a sigh of relief when he finally replied, “I know.”
“Does Kerass know?”
“No,” Gus said. There was a long pause. “He’s adjusting to college life same as I am.”
“Yet you’re the one calling.”
“I didn’t have the falling out with him that you did. Sorry Lyra, I won’t budge on that. You brought that upon yourself.”
“I thought you were supposed to make me feel better.”
“No, that’s not my job. That decision’s up to you. I’m here to listen, certainly, and I’ll keep calling you, but you and I both know it’s better to be honest, to hear the truth than to have someone in your life who simply cheers you up.”
“Whatever…have you spoken with Cadence?”
“You caught me there. I haven’t spoken to her since before graduation day.”
“Avoiding her, are you?”
“Not at all. All she has to do is reach out.”
“Well maybe she will.”
“I’m sorry to cut this short, but I gotta go Lyra. Feel better. You can expect a call next week.”
“Always,” Lyra replied and then she hung up the phone.
“You ok?” Julia asked. She prodded asking if everything was all right between her and Gus. “That seemed a little intense.”
“It wasn’t intense, it was just Gus. Nothing wrong with that. It’s not like we’re dating or anything. He’s just a friend, a beautifully observant friend.”
“I’ll take that to mean that you’re feeling better now?”
Lyra nodded and then proceeded to sit back down in the same spot on the couch that had now become imprinted with the outline of her body. It truly was sad seeing Lyra do nothing but sit on her couch all day, but Julia would soon leave for the day. All she could hope for was that Lyra would feel more upbeat tomorrow. Gus truly was a great friend to Lyra. Julia selfishly wished she could have a friend like Gus, but for now she had to be the stronger one. Lyra could never know the pain she felt sitting with her all day.
Cadence looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. The discoloration was there, but only obvious if you looked for it. No one would be able to tell. The black eye was well concealed.
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