Fallen Leaves - Chapter 75: What Makes You Beautiful

Jay exhaled as he walked down the hospital hallway for the final time. Damien’s parents were going to make their ultimate decision on whether to keep him alive or to end his life. It was no longer in his control. Truth be told, it never had been. This was going to be goodbye whether to the end of his life or simply for now as he had to stop running away from his responsibilities and get back to school. He had done all he could to be there, but truly he didn’t know how much help he’d been.

Damien would pay for his actions, whether that was to his death or simply to the end of how long this coma would last. No one really knew that much about comas anyway. The science, from what he had read, was very inconclusive and confusing.

Gus had already said his goodbyes and headed back to school. Jay had emailed his professors and explained the situation. Amazingly they were quite accommodating. He read the readings and turned in papers explaining what he had learned. This was considered class credit. Attendance wasn’t mandatory in the senior classes anyways.

The closer he came to graduation, the more confident he felt he would succeed in life after college. Being a teacher hadn’t really ever been his dream, but quickly he realized how much he enjoyed his summers off and wanted that to continue. Plus, he liked school and he didn’t want that to end.

Jay sat beside Damien watching over him as the machine breathed for him. He held Damien’s hand.

“It’s you, Damien. I choose you.”

“You know how I feel about waiting for marriage.”

Jay nodded. “I thought what I wanted was just to rush into it, not build it up so much, just got it over with. No, see I don’t want that anymore. I want to be with someone I believe I could live my whole life with. I’m lucky enough to have met him in high school.”

“I thought you were over me last year at prom.”

“It was a rough year for all of us, but through the dark I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Guess who was standing there waiting for me.”

Damien rolled his eyes. Jay knew it was cliché, stupid, but undeniably sweet, he hoped. Damien gazed into his eyes, he placed his hand on Jay’s face, caressing it. Damien wiped the stray tear that fell down his face. This felt safe. It felt like home all over again.

“Are you sure you’re willing to wait for me?” Damien asked.

“I’ve never been more certain of anything else in my entire life. What do you say?”

It didn’t last a moment before Damien eplied, “Yes.”

Boy how things had changed in just a short amount of time. Their proposal of love didn’t last very long and quickly floundered, the same way it had when they were in high school. It didn’t mean it hadn’t been real, or truthful though…

Leaning in, Jay kissed Damien’s forehead. “I still choose you,” he whispered. “As long as you continue breathing. Forever.”



Jeremy held Julia’s hand walking down the nature trail together. Jeremy had come down for the weekend to visit her. She had asked if he would join her in visiting with Damien, but he thought it would be better to be just the two of them.

“How was he?” Jeremy asked.

“Breathing,” she replied. “Still breathing,” she added more to herself.

Jeremy observed how sad the situation was. “He had his whole life ahead of him. Why would he do something like that?”

“He never really had support from his parents for being gay.”

“You’re saying he attempted suicide because he’s gay?” Jeremy asked incredulously.

“Some people do, it’s not that uncommon of an occurrence. It’s just, I think he distanced himself from his parents and vice versa when he came out and refused to back down. When he didn’t have the community through his relationship and had disavowed his friendships, he sort of wrapped up his whole identity in the relationship. When that ended, there was no hope left for him.”

“You seem to know quite a lot considering you don’t talk to the man.”

“He’s not currently talking to anybody, thank you,” she chastised him. “He and I were really close for a summer, so I got to see how his mind works.”

“Sure,” Jeremy replied, nodding his head.

“No need to jest.”

“Who’s joshing you? Me?”

“Kiss me, you fool.”

“Now that I can get on board with,” he said before he locked lips with her.

They were able to argue with each other, but still respect one another, which to him was a huge feat in today’s world. His cell phone went off blaring the Power Rangers theme song. It always made him jump as it was so loud when it started.

“I love how nerdy you are,” Julia replied.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he responded. When he looked at who was calling him, his mouth dropped. Pax was calling him. He hadn’t heard from Pax in well over two years.

“Aren’t you going to answer it?”

“What?” he asked startled. “Yeah, yes, of course.” He quickly answered the call. “Hello?”

“Hey, uh, is this Jeremy?”

“Yeah. Pax?”

“You got it, buddy.”

Jeremy exhaled. “It’s been a long time. I’m sorry I haven’t kept up at all. Things have been crazy.”

“Oh, that’s, uh, not a problem and that’s not why I called you, not really.”

“Ok…” he paused. “What’s going on?”

“See, uh, I’m getting married actually. There’s this wonderful woman called Maddie and I truly believe that God paired us together.”

“That’s great!” he replied sincerely.

“I was just going to text you, but I thought why not just give you a call and request your address so I can send you an invitation.”

“I’m speechless, flattered, truly. You actually want me to come to your wedding?”

“Of course I do! I poured into you for a whole year and I’d love for you to celebrate the start of my marriage with me.”

“I’ll text you my address.”

“Why don’t you just tell me now?”

“Sure,” he smiled. “It’s 5610 Dawes Ave.”

“Expect an invitation within the next two weeks.”

They bid their farewells. Jeremy cried tears of joy. He couldn’t believe he was invited to his first wedding.

“You are so kind, Jeremy,” Julia said.

“Thanks, darling.” He turned his head sideways and kissed her. “I gotta jet.”

“Bye, baby,” she whispered.

Pax. That name hadn’t come to mind in a long time. Perhaps this could be the start of a brand new chapter in their friendship.



Cadence laid back on her cell cot. Staring at the ceiling she tried to think of anything positive in her life. She couldn’t think of anything. Having been visited by her past, she continued to dream about what could have been, what should have been. Closing her eyes, she tried to quiet her mind and fall quickly asleep.

Within minutes she saw herself walking down the halls of Oak Stream High. She instantly realized how old she was compared to the children walking all around her. They stared and gawked at her. Stifled laughter followed her no matter where she went. No matter which hallway she walked down, she couldn’t find home room.

The hallways all morphed into one. The door out grew smaller and smaller until finally you couldn’t even see it anymore. Then a bright light overcame the hallway until the only thing you could see was the light. All of a sudden, she was no longer in the hallway, she was in the stream where she’d been with Gus. Oak Stream was home, yet she had to leave high school behind. She made a promise to herself when she shook herself awake that no matter what she would make it to that stream at least one more time before she took her final breath and she never broke her promises.



Kerass sat in the back row of his father’s church. He had been welcomed back without question over the course of the summer, but it was still a little bit awkward every time he visited. He didn’t go to church every Sunday and he didn’t see that as a problem, regardless of what other people told him. He felt close to God and to him that was all that mattered.

The rumor had already spread, according to his father, about what they were there for. This emergency member meeting was a big deal. The last time they had a meeting like this, his mother was still alive, before the coma. The music ministry leader, who had been his father’s best friend since childhood was caught in an adulterous relationship with a woman on the same team for two years. It had occurred so long ago that his father had welcomed him back into friendship, fellowship, but the rest of the congregation didn’t feel the same way.

His father stepped up to the podium. Clearing his throat, he began to speak, “I have a confession to make before you, dear church.” He paused asking if they could pray together. After he finished his prayer, he dabbed his eyes with a handkerchief, wiping small tears out of his eyes.

Kerass held his breath.

“I have lied to you. It was not a technical error that killed my wife. It was my decision to pull the plug. I wanted my wonderful, Spirit-filled, son to have a chance at a college education. But what ended up happening, was it created a distance between us that praise the Lord has ended. As many of you know, Damien, the son of beloved members is in a coma. I was asked whether they should pull the plug on him. I begged and implored them to not make the same mistake I had made. I couldn’t continue preaching here without speaking the truth. I cannot say that I believe I made the wrong decision as I firmly believe she is worshipping and celebrating with our Savior now, but to lie to you about it is truly disgraceful. For that I have asked my fellow elders to evaluate me as a church leader. They have decided to put me on a trial period. I will step away from the pulpit for a year, depending on how you vote. If you want me to step down, I shall without question. If you want me to stay, so I can grow alongside you that is fine too. Whatever decision you make. I have complete and utter peace with our Father about it. It has been a gift and an honor to lead you for these years. Thank you.”

The rest of the meeting was a blur. It wasn’t a unanimous vote, but they did elect to have him stay. He would no longer be lead pastor, but a reserve. Kerass waited at the back of the line as everyone gave their two cents to his father.

An hour came and went as he made his way to the front of the line.

“I’m proud of you,” Kerass said.

“I’m even prouder of you. I never would’ve done this had you not encouraged me to.”

“It wasn’t me, but the Holy Spirit who prompted you to do that. See, you’re finally open and fully honest. That’s what makes you beautiful, your honesty and vulnerability and I believe firmly that it’ll only make the church grow closer together.”

They embraced, clutching each other so tight, refusing to let go. He would never forget this moment.



7 months later…



Damien opened his eyes.

Fallen Leaves - Chapter 74: One Way or Another

Cadence walked down the hallway. For the second time in less than a month, she had a visitor who wasn’t her mother. She had felt so distant from the reality outside of the prison walls that she wasn’t quite sure who she was without her old friends from high school. They had moved on, continued to grow, yet she remained stagnant, still as a mill pond without a breath of wind. This had to change. It must. No matter what happened, no matter how long she stayed here for her punishment, she made a commitment to herself that she would live, that she would survive long enough to walk out. One way or another she would achieve this, but the how and when were undetermined.

She exhaled as she sat across from Kerass who greeted her with a smile. It was difficult to smile back, but she forced herself to do it.

“It’s been a long time,” he commented. He continued to ask her how she was.

“How does it look?” she asked with a grimace on her face.

“Ok, I guess that’s a plausible response. Gus told me you seemed much more upbeat when he visited you. I just thought that maybe I could swing by while I wait to try and cheer you up.”

“You still haven’t heard the word yet on Damien?”

“No, but I honestly don’t want to talk about him,” he paused. “I want to talk about you.”

“What is there to say?” she challenged him. “I’m in jail for a crime that I committed. I turned myself in. I hid and buried the body. My life stopped. You all continue to grow and I’m just left here without the sun or water to help me flourish. I’m like a withered plant that refuses to die.”

“Well, that’s one way to look at it.”

“Don’t tell me you think I have potential…” she said rolling her eyes. “I’ve heard it all before, but where’s the harm in admitting that I’m leaps and bounds behind you guys from a developmental standpoint? I’m broken and sometimes I believe that I can’t be patched up again, made whole again. I haven’t been whole my entire life, my very existence has been plagued by mistakes, and horrible violations of my body. My soul is yearning for understanding, for someone to reach down and say ‘I get it,’ but nobody does. I am worthless,” she exhaled as she let her eyes well up.

“No,” Kerass shook his head. “You’re not. I know that. Gus knows that. But you are right about something, you are broken, but all of us are. There is one person, one name that can help, but I fear you don’t want to hear about it.”

“Why would you think that?”

“You had no interest in it when we were dating in high school.”

“Well, that was a long time ago.”

“And yet, you say that you’re stagnant and that you haven’t grown.”

Was it even possible? Had she truly grown since then? She was different. She knew she had been humbled immensely, but she couldn’t pinpoint why. Her life before and after high school felt like one of those outrageous Greek tragedies that only English majors read and never for pleasure. Sometimes it didn’t seem real, all the things that had already happened to her in the short span of time that was her life.

“I haven’t grown as much as you all have,” she whispered more to herself than to him.

“Why is it a competition? Does it matter who grows more? I don’t think it does. All that matters is you,” at this he pointed at her heart, “have grown. What a beautiful thing it is to witness that you recognize your faults and have deep sorrow for them. Just don’t let them tear you down. That’s not what we’re supposed to do with that.”

“Which name?” she asked him.

“Jesus,” he replied.

At the very utterance of the name, she felt goosebumps all over her body. She couldn’t explain why this was, but she couldn’t deny it anymore either. There was a power to that name, a power over her that no other name had before.

“Did you really just come to visit me just to talk about Jesus?” she asked trying her hardest not to think on it.

“No, that wasn’t the only reason. Sure it was part of it, but I really just wanted to see how you were doing. I’m glad you shared with me so freely.”

“I always could,” she said.

“Aren’t you glad we’re out of high school with all that petty bullshit behind us?”

“No, I’m not,” she locked eyes with him. “Because I know what comes after.”

“Hey,” he said softly. “The ending’s not written yet. Don’t lose hope just yet. I haven’t lost hope for Damien.”

“Maybe you should,” she said in spite of herself. “Why don’t you give up on people even when they manipulate you the way that Damien manipulated all of you?

“I don’t know, really,” he paused. “Maybe, uh, maybe it’s just because I don’t want to live in a world where my God gives up on me despite how many times I rebel against him. Maybe I want to give his peace, his joy, his light to others. He’s given me joy beyond recognition and I just want everyone to experience that level of intimacy.”

“You don’t think you can get that through sex?” she challenged.

“That’s just a different king of intimacy. This is one where you’re fully known, fully loved and cherished. Only he can make us whole again. I have a sense that you know that already.”

“Let’s just say I’ve read that story before.”

“Well, good then. Read it again and again and again. Read it until you’ve memorized it and yet still you won’t stop learning from it.”

“You do take after your father, that’s for sure.”

“I’ll try and take that as a compliment, as difficult as that is to do. I just don’t want you to give up on your life just yet, not before you’ve even lived it. I think you’re closer to freedom than you think.”

“You heard rumors from the courts?”

“No, this type of freedom doesn’t come from man. Think on it?”

Cadence shook her head. She really didn’t want to give in or surrender. Not yet.



Jay walked around the hospital grounds. The scenery was breathtaking. Kerass had asked Jay if he’d mind spending time with Kathleen while he went to visit with Cadence. Jay didn’t really mind, but it was sort of awkward. He didn’t know Kathleen at all and she was so much more religious than he ever was or ever wanted to be for that matter. Kerass had warned him that she was really intense, but that excited Jay more than scared him. Jay was drawn to passionate people. It didn’t matter if they were passionate about equal rights for the LGBTQIA community, for theater, or for Jesus. As long as they were passionate, he felt he could get along with anybody.

“You seem tense, Jay,” Kathleen observed.

“You really didn’t need to say that out loud,” he said shaking his head. He asked her why she would be so blunt about it.

“Blunt, what an interesting word choice.”

“Kerass was right,” he observed. “You are intense.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“It’s neither here nor there. It just is.”

“Well, what were you expecting of me?” she asked him.

“I was prepared that you’d be very passionate about Jesus. That I knew before he dropped you off here with me, but I didn’t anticipate you being able to read me so well.”

“It’s not me who reads you, but the Spirit of God, the Holy Spirit that dwells inside me who reads you.”

“I guess that’s possible.”

“It’s not only possible. It’s probable. I’m not that sharp, but He is sharp within me. He’s all I need.”

“I just don’t see the need for any one god. I need people, not entities.”

“You are right, we do need people. They are creations, reflections of the living, breathing God. He is not dead, make no mistake. He is very much alive.”

“According to you,” he said. “Muslims, Jews, and many other religions would disagree with you.”

“God doesn’t,” she boldly replied.

Jay thought that was incredibly arrogant. How could she claim so confidently that God agreed with her viewpoint and not all the others? Would not all the other passionate people in other religions feel the exact same way? He watched as a dove descended on a tree branch only a few inches away from his face. He hoped it wouldn’t poop on his shoes. All the same, he couldn’t stop himself from looking at the serene beauty of this small winged creature. How it got so close to him and wasn’t scared was beyond him.

Kathleen stepped up. He held his hand out for fear that she would spook it away. Yet, she took his hand off her and continued to step forward to the tree. Leaning on her tiptoes, she reached out and pet the tiny body of the dove. It chirped its appreciation. Kathleen beamed and just like that the dove took flight again.

“I believe the Holy Spirit has visited us in the form of this dove. You know the story?”

“I do,” Jay nodded. It was one of the few Biblical stories he did know. “The Holy Spirit descended as a dove on Jesus right after he was baptized.”

“Do you think he was attempting to say anything to you?”

“No, because I don’t think it was the Holy Spirit. I just think it was a dove, a beautiful dove at that, but all doves are beautiful.”

“You have much to learn,” she said not straying from her gaze. She looked into him like she could see his very soul.

“Please stop looking at me like that,” he asked.

“Why?” she asked raising one eyebrow at him.

“It makes me uncomfortable.”



Kerass stepped into his father’s house after having dropped Kathleen off at a church member’s house. She didn’t feel comfortable sleeping in the same house as Kerass. It made her ‘nervous’. He wasn’t sure whether to take that as a compliment or not.

His father walked in from the kitchen handing Kerass an apple.

“No thanks, Dad,” Kerass mumbled.

“More for me then,” he replied taking a bite. He continued to describe the apple as scrumptious.

“Have you talked to Damien’s parents yet?”

His father swallowed and set the apple down on the table. “I meet with them tomorrow morning and then in the evening, I have a member’s meeting to explain what I’ve done.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“You don’t have to,” his father sighed. “I know that decision made you hate me for years.”

“Not anymore. I don’t hate you. I may even be proud of you.”

“You’ll come to support me?”

Kerass nodded.

Fallen Leaves - Chapter 73: Still the One

Cadence closed her eyes letting them see what her cell refused to show her. It was breathtaking seeing color again. Yet unlike all the times before, it didn’t soothe her. She couldn’t stop thinking about her visit with Gus. It was a glimpse into a life she hadn’t been a part of for years.

This was a life that she longed to be a part of again. She wanted out of this purgatory, this punishment for her actions, but here she stayed in a changeless, hopeless environment.

If only she wasn’t here. She may have been able to talk with Damien throughout the years. There was no guarantee he wouldn’t have become depressed anyway, but maybe he’d have someone to talk with. There was a time when he trusted and loved her.

She shook her head. She was being foolish. Damien didn’t care that much about her. Their friendship had gone sour, or distant when he focused more on his relationship with Jay. Damien had changed after he accepted himself. It was strange to think on it, but he hadn’t exactly become a better person after he’d come out. He had deeply hurt someone that she loved.

Gus was now with Jay and she couldn’t believe it. Gus had never come across to her as someone who might have any gay attraction, but in the complete opposite way it made total sense. Unlike with Jay or Damien, Gus seemed perfectly comfortable with his emotions. He didn’t fight what was happening no matter who he was attracted to. If Gus developed feelings for a man, he wouldn’t be one to question it or make a big deal about it. He’d just accept it. He wasn’t one to declare to the world that he was gay, he just wanted to love the one he felt connected to. Was that so bad? Was it so wrong to refuse a label on who you were sexually, romantically, and emotionally attracted to? She refused to believe it could be wrong.

She liked to think that if she developed feelings for a woman, she’d accept it as the person she was attracted kinetically to, but in reality, she knew she’d shout it from the mountaintop. Not that she had the opportunity to do so now. The only person, or entity, she felt close to in the jail cell was someone she’d never met before and she questioned whether this person survived.

Jesus. The name carried a ton of weight. It seemed like everyone had an opinion on this man. There seemed to be two camps: one where people tried to prove he wasn’t God and never said the things he was recorded as saying in the Bible, and those who would die professing him to be God. Why couldn’t there be a third party? One where people were fearful if the power he was written to have was true, but also comforted by his words of wisdom. She wanted to live her life, if she ever got out of these walls, based on the words of Jesus, but she questioned whether many Christians actually read those words, let alone practiced them.

She needed peace in her life once again. So, she cleared her thoughts as best she could. No more worries about the life that could be or could have been, she needed to live in the present. Quickly she wandered into a dreamless sleep.



Kerass yawned as he drove down the highway.

“You’d better stay awake,” Kathleen scolded.

Kerass rolled his eyes. Just because he yawned while he drove didn’t mean that he was about to crash. He told her he was fine. “I can see everything on the road.”

“Well, you don’t have to be cocky about it.”

“What was the point of this anyway? You brought it up.”

“I know,” Kathleen paused, “but I just get nervous with long road trips.”

“Well, rest assured. We’re fine.”

Kerass turned on the radio. A top 40s channel came on. He let it stay there while the song of the summer blared.

“I hate that song,” Kathleen said as she turned the radio off.

“What is your problem?”

“Pardon me?” she asked incredulously.

“Don’t you know the rules of the road? The driver always gets to choose the music.”

“I don’t care about the rules of the road. I don’t feel comfortable with top 40. It’s full of sex without consequence, selfish pursuit, not caring about anything. It’s disgusting and it makes me feel nauseous. It takes my mind to places that I don’t like. If you want to listen to music so badly, why not put it on Christian radio?”

“I like a song or two, but I prefer the old hymns. They just seem classier and have more substance to them. Plus, I find the anchors to be fake as hell.”

“I think they’re trying to be encouraging,” she added in a singsong voice.

“I think they lie to people about how happy they are all the time. I think they avoid talking about anything with substance.”

“You’re being harsher than you normally are.”

“No, I’m just sharing my opinion.”

“No, it’s something more than just that,” she observed. “You’re scared. It registers all over your face.”

Kerass paused. While he had been truthful, it was also true that he was scared to death. He didn’t like thinking about this too hard while he was driving. It was too distracting.

“I guess you hit the nail on the head,” he conceded. “I am scared.”

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of. If you’re scared you know you’re alive. You know you’re breathing.”

“I don’t want to talk about it!” he raised his voice at her. “It distracts me from the road.”

“There’s a rest stop just up ahead. Pull in and I’ll take over driving. It’s not healthy to run away from your feelings.”

“I’m not.”

“Just do it,” she commanded.

They remained silent while he drove into the rest stop, putting the car into park.

“Now what’s really bothering you?”

“It’s too personal. It would open up the floodgates and I’m not convinced I’d be able to stop crying.”

“There’s no shame in tears, Kerass,” she gently replied. “However, if you don’t want to share, that’s ok too. I just don’t want you driving while you’re distracted.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled while he stepped out of the car. They quickly changed seats. In no time at all they were on the road again.

She turned the radio on to the Christian station.

“I told you I hate the anchors,” he stated.

“You also told me that the driver gets to choose the music, remember?” she responded raising her eyebrows at him.

He closed his eyes almost instantly getting to a deep sleep. He tried his hardest to not have her show up again, but it was too late. He was dreaming of his mother.



Jay sat in the hospital cafeteria. Sitting across from him was Gus. He continued to eat his nachos while they sat in silence together.

Wiping his face clean with his napkin, he said, “I’m sorry.” He continued saying he knew this must be super awkward for him.

“Not necessarily. Missing school to be with you is fun, a dream come true even. But just being here around him, a man who at a time meant something but ultimately harmed me. It’s just a lot, ok? I don’t like being here.”

“You’re uncle and everything?”

“That’s only part of it,” Gus exhaled running his hand through his hair. “Damien and I started to connect after he saw me visiting my uncle in the hospital and now Damien is in a similar situation. I just don’t like hospitals and I never will.”

“I’m sorry,” Jay sighed. “I’m just so sorry. I’m sorry I asked you to come here to be with me.”

“I’m not sorry. Funnily enough, I questioned whether you still cared for me, wanted me.”

“Whatever made you think otherwise?”

“I don’t want to sound too cruel, but…” he paused.

“Go ahead and say it,” Jay encouraged him.

“It scared me, what Damien did. I wasn’t sure if you’d still choose me after that. It was just too heavy of a thought to bear, being alone.”

“You’ll never be alone when you’re with me, trust me, Gus. I’m so glad you told me you were feeling those doubts. Yes, I’m upset over Damien. Partially I feel responsible.”

“You shouldn’t. I’m responsible.”

“No, dear Gus. The truth is Damien is responsible for what he did, but I don’t want to see him punished with the loss of his life. I don’t want to watch them pull the plug on him.”

“I know. I’m sorry I’ve been so selfish.”

“Don’t even worry or fret. I understand how you feel. I’ve lost a boyfriend before, remember? Just rest assured that you mean everything to me. This stuff with Damien will pass eventually. I just hope it ends with my preferred outcome in mind. You’re still the one, my one and only.”

Gus smiled. “You’re my one and only, too.”



Kerass jolted awake. The dream had been wonderful, but it quickly vanished from his mind. Within seconds he could no longer think about what had even happened in the dream.

“Glad to see you’ve joined the land of the awake again,” Kathleen said.

“Yep, sure,” he added. As he wiped the sleep out of his eyes, it dawned on him. The only person who could convince Damien’s parents not to go through with it, would be someone who had gone through with it themselves. He needed to call his father right away.

He quickly pulled out his phone and called his father. Unfortunately, it went straight to voicemail.

“Dad, uh, hi. Um, please just call me as soon as you get this message,” he said while he hung up.

“What was that about?”

“You’ll see.”

An hour passed. Within that time he was able to forget about his troubles. He even laughed with Kathleen. The trip still moved so slowly, but at least he wasn’t overwhelmed.

It was then that his father called him back. Kerass picked up on the first ring.

“Son, are you all right? Are you safe?” his father asked.

“Yes, I am.”

“Good,” his father exhaled. “What’s going on?”

“You’ve heard about Damien, right?”

“Oh, yeah, I heard about that. His parents have asked for prayer on that.”

“You know his parents?”

“Of course I do. They started attending my church about a year and a half ago.”

Kerass sighed. “Oh, Dad, this is so hard.”

“Just say it, Kerass.”

“They’re thinking of pulling the plug on him.”

“I’ve heard about that, too.”

Kerass paused. How could his father not have intervened when he knew they were looking to end his life! He closed his eyes trying to quiet his frustrations and concentrate on the task at hand.

“I want you to convince them not to do it.”

“I don’t think that’s any of my business.”

“Bullshit, Dad. You’re their pastor. They’re your sheep. Shepherd them. Lead them.”

“What is it exactly that you’re asking me to do?”

“I want you to admit that you pulled the plug on Mom and I want you to be honest about how it impacted me and our relationship.”

“If I admitted that, it would ruin my career.”

“I want you to do it. For me.”