Kerass hadn’t gotten used to taking the bus since the end of freshmen year. Julia had always driven him and even recently when she hadn’t driven him every day his father drove him. Being completely honest with himself, he knew he didn’t want to spend that much time with his father one-on-one, so there he was yet again waiting at the bus stop.
The bus seemed to take forever to get there. It was a solid five minutes before he saw the bus drive around the corner down the street. It had been a harsh wake-up call. Having to ride the bus caused him to wake up an hour before he normally woke up. He looked around at the people waiting at the bus stop. All the freshmen seemed so young. He felt so old having to wait at the bus stop. The looks he received from the others weren’t very comforting either. The more he thought about it though they probably weren’t giving him looks. It was all simply in his head.
The bus came to a stop and the doors opened. Kerass was the last person to board the bus. He walked straight towards the back of the bus, his usual spot where he would sleep on his way in freshmen year. To his utter astonishment the seat was already taken! He felt ownership over that seat. How dare anyone take my seat! he thought to himself.
He recognized the guy who was sitting in the back, but he couldn’t remember why. Then it hit him, Gus, the one with the locker next to his, was sitting there. “Do you mind if I sit next to you?” Kerass asked.
“No,” Gus replied. “Not at all.”
Kerass sat down. The silence bugged him. In the car rides, he either talked the whole way with Julia or blasted the radio with his father. The radio wasn’t playing on the bus and everyone else was sleeping besides him and Gus. Breaking the silence Kerass said, “So, you in any extra curricular activities?”
Gus shook his head. Kerass then asked him why not. Gus replied, “I already spend too much time in the school building as it is. I’m not wasting any time outside of school hours on high school.”
Kerass was bewildered. He wasn’t the biggest fan of high school either, but extra curriculars was the one saving grace of high school. “What do you do with your time, then?”
“I run a lot,” Gus said nonchalantly, “and I work at the comic book store down on Main Street.”
“Aren’t comic book stores going out of business?” Kerass asked bewildered.
Gus laughed and shook his head. “Not in a small town man. It’s different back where I’m from, but here…” he paused looking out the window. “It’s a lot different from where I came from.”
“Where did you come from?” Kerass asked. “Just curious.”
“I don’t know. That’s what I’m here to find out.”
Kerass didn’t know what to do with that. It seemed like he just wanted to avoid the subject all together, which definitely increased his own curiosity in the subject, but he also knew it was better to butt out and change the subject. It also seemed like a total cop out. Not wanting to dwell on it any longer, Kerass said, “You run, yeah?”
“Yeah, I just told you I did.”
Kerass beamed. He was the fastest runner in the school. This would be an excellent opportunity to gloat. “What’s your average time for a mile?”
Gus raised his eyebrows. “I average a 4:10 mile.”
Kerass’ smile vanished. Kerass’ best was a 4:15 and his average was 4:30. “You’re not gonna like try out for football next year are you?” Kerass asked trying to protect himself, his spot, and his legacy.
“Why do you care?”
“I-” Kerass paused. He was speechless. He shouldn’t care and he recognized that, but he did care. He wanted to be the best at something and this was the only thing he could take pride in at that moment. “I just wanted to know, you know for team dynamic next year.”
“That’s total bull and you know it, but I’ll give you a slide,” Gus added smirking. “You don’t have to worry about anything. I don’t have time for sports anyways.”
With that said, the conversation ended abruptly. Kerass was mad the rest of the morning thinking about how he was no longer good at anything. He no longer had Julia, Cadence walked out of the picture a while ago, he hadn’t talked to Jay in ages, and on top of it all his grades were slipping. The only thing he held onto was the fact that he was good at sports, the best and even that wasn’t true anymore. He felt his entire identity was crumbling in front of him.
Cadence walked down the hallway to her locker avoiding eye contact with everyone that she walked past. The only person that would give her the time of day was Gus and he was annoying and secretive. There was Julia though, but they hadn’t spoken in a month. She opened up her locker grabbing her first period textbook. Whatever, she thought to herself. I can handle myself. I don’t need anybody else.
Julia walked straight over to her. Cadence couldn’t help but smile. Perhaps Julia had missed her too. Cadence desperately missed people, but she lied to herself constantly about it. She was convinced the more she said it the more it would become a reality. She didn’t want to be dependent on anybody.
“Julia!” Cadence exclaimed. She continued saying it had been a long time and asked her what had been happening.
“Cut the pleasantries, Cadence,” Julia said deadpan.
Cadence was afraid to ask what was wrong, but whatever it was she immediately started blaming herself.
“I need you to tell me something and don’t,” Julia paused and then proceeded giving emphasis to each word, “you dare lie to me.”
Cadence had no idea what Julia was referring to, so she remained silent locking eyes with Julia challenging her to go on.
“Are you still in love with Kerass?” Julia said her voice cracking while tears slowly fell down her face.
The question took Cadence completely off guard. While that had been her initial intention at the beginning of the year, she had quickly dropped it and hadn’t given it a second thought.
“Did you steal him away from me?” Julia demanded pushing Cadence.
“I,” Cadence paused. “I didn’t even know you two were split up!”
Julia glared at Cadence. “You never said no,” and with that Julia walked away. Cadence screamed out after her, but Julia kept walking. Cadence was so deeply confused she wasn’t even sure what had happened, but whatever it was it seemed pretty final. She wasn’t in love with Kerass anymore. At least…she didn’t think she was.
Gus walked over to her and said, “I thought it over and the answer’s no. I can’t tutor you.”
“Whatever,” Cadence said under her breath. She slammed her locker shut and walked away from Gus without another word.
Jay took a deep breath. He couldn’t believe he was doing this. He walked over to Kerass who stood by his locker. Saying hi beforehand, Jay asked him how he had been. Kerass was so taken aback that Jay was talking to him that it took him a solid 5 seconds before answering.
“Things have been a little rough recently,” Kerass began. He then spilled on how he had broken up with Julia. “It’s just a really weird time for me right now.”
Jay choked up. He knew nothing about Kerass’ life this year and in a way it was entirely his fault. He had dedicated all of his attention to Damien and while that had been good for him, he had let his friendship with Kerass vanish. He would do anything to rebuild it now, but it took a while to rebuild anything of value.
“Why are you here, Jay?” Kerass asked straightforward. “I mean, we haven’t really talked since the beginning of summer and that was several months ago.”
“I guess I just missed us is all,” Jay said. He went on saying he missed the way they used to be, how they knew each other so well. “I mean, what happened to us?”
“I don’t really know,” Kerass said adding that it might simply be high school life. “You know these walls are so huge. So many people come in and out each and every day, so it’s hard to maintain any friendship, let alone what ours used to be.”
Jay bit his tongue. He didn’t want to ask the next question on his mind, but he knew had to. He had to know if that was what kept Kerass away from him all this time. “Does the distance between us have anything to do with me and Damien dating?”
Kerass laughed. “No. I mean, it’s a little weird to me and I still don’t agree with that, but no, that’s not the reason why.” He said further that there wasn’t really any one reason. “We just grew apart this year. Nothing against you, it just happened.”
Jay took deeper breaths. It was hard for him to hear this. Kerass used to be the center of his world and while Damien was that now, he didn’t want to lose Kerass. “Is there anything I can do to rectify this?”
Jay waited on Kerass’ response for what seemed like infinity before Kerass said that he wasn’t sure. Jay’s heartbeat rose. The sound echoed in his head and he felt like his head was about to explode.
“I found out I’m adopted,” Jay blurted out. He was astonished by what he had just done and he wished he could take it all back. Kerass had been the first person he told, he hadn’t even told Damien that and he knew that if Damien ever found out he’d be in trouble.
“You what?” Kerass asked stunned.
“My dad told me 2 months ago,” Jay whispered and added for him not to tell anyone.
Kerass promised he wouldn’t. “Why did you tell me?”
“I still trust you,” Jay said.
“Well, thanks,” Kerass said. “Does he know? Damien?”
Jay shook his head.
“All right then,” Kerass said and then told Jay that he’d see him around before walking away.
Jay didn’t know what to think of the conversation, but it was a start in the right direction he hoped. He walked down the stairs to the main office telling the receptionist he was here to see his guidance counselor. She simply nodded at him as he walked into the guidance counselor’s hallway.
Every step seemed uncertain. It almost felt as if the floor would open up and swallow him whole. He knew he was playing with fire by even talking to her, but his curiosity overwhelmed him. He knocked on her door.
“Come in!”
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