Cadence inhaled. It was the right decision. She knew it to be true. Although she would never be able to forgive herself for missing Lyra’s funeral, she knew she had made the right decision bringing him back into her life, bringing him close to her again.
He was no longer controlling. He never questioned when she left the apartment anymore. They could no longer sustain the house and he thought the change of scenery would help their affections for each other. He certainly was gentler with her. But people like that didn’t change. They never would. Rolling her shoulders she tried to get him out of her mind.
Once again, she found herself drawn to the water tower. Memories of Gus popped into her brain. There wasn’t much she could think other than he truly loved, and it was a beautiful thing to witness, to behold.
Clinging to the foot of the tower, she found herself hugging it. Inexplicably it made her feel safe, comforted. She would never forget the first kiss with Gus on the top of the water tower.
A hand tapped her shoulder. Turning around, she saw Gus standing beside her. She had forgotten that her high school classmates hadn’t gone back to college to wrap up the spring semester just yet.
“How are you feeling?” Gus asked.
“Fine,” she lied. She continued stating she couldn’t be better. “I’ve never been happier.”
“You never were that good of a liar.”
“I can take care of myself, Gus. That’s what I’ve been doing this whole time.”
“Really? That’s not the way I see it.”
“Why do you keep trying to save me? What, do you like want to get back together or something?”
“No, not at all actually,” he exhaled. “Neither of us are in a healthy enough place for that to happen.”
“Then what is it?”
“I still care about you, Cadence.”
She breathed to the side. She couldn’t even look at him after he said that. Staring at the ground around her, she hoped silently that he would leave her alone.
“I can’t see you get hurt again,” Gus stated gently. “Not anymore. I just can’t stand on the sidelines and do nothing.”
“He won’t hurt me again. I can assure you of that,” she replied a strength to her voice that even she was surprised at.
“Come back to your friends, Cadence. We want to see you at Evergreen Forest. I…” he paused. “I brought you this application, just in case. I transferred there for spring semester. I had forgotten had good of friends I had at Oak Stream High. I needed to be reminded of that and I believe you do too. Don’t trust him. Trust your friends.”
Leaning forward, he gently caressed her face, quickly kissed her forehead and walked away from her. It didn’t matter what he had said. She felt that after the night was over, she wouldn’t have a friend in the world.
Walking down the street, Jeremy walked over to Pax, who was waiting for him on one of the benches spread throughout Main Street. Greeting him, he sat down beside him and thanked him profusely for coming to Lyra’s funeral. “You have no idea how much that meant to me.”
“I think I can grasp the concept,” Pax reassured him.
“I hate this…” Jeremy paused.
“Hey,” Pax gently touched his back. “It’s fine to take as much time as you need to mourn Lyra. Bit of a shock, I’m sure.”
“Yeah, that was, but that’s not what I meant,” Jeremy sighed, scratching the back of his head. “See, you’re graduating in a month. I don’t know why I’m asking, but will we ever see each other again?”
“You’re worried that after I leave campus that we’ll lose touch?”
“Yeah,” Jeremy sheepishly whispered his reply.
“It’s really up to you. I would love to keep up with you, but I’ll place that ball in your court. I’m sure there’ll come a day when you don’t need me. Hell, I think that day’s today. I’m glad you want me though and I hope that’ll never change, but it’ll be fine if it does. Don’t you worry, Jeremy. We’ll survive this transition.”
Not sure why, Jeremy believed him. He thanked God for giving him Pax as a friend and Jaden as a girlfriend. He had grown so much in the past year. His confidence alone had quadrupled. He was no longer afraid of his past. He believed he and Pax would be lifelong friends and he felt a great comfort and peace in that thought.
Jay knew they needed to talk. Gil had left right after the funeral to head back to campus. Jay and many of the others stayed over the weekend. Going to his contacts list, lying down on his bed, Jay called Gil. It didn’t take long for Gil to respond.
“Hey, man! How’s everything going?” Gil asked.
Jay stated things could always be better. “But I feel lucky to be alive today.”
“I know the feeling.”
“Let’s just cut to the chase,” Jay prompted. “I know that we wouldn’t work out in a romantic relationship, but I was think-” he began.
“That’s right,” Gil cut him off. “But I’ve been doing a lot of thinking as well. Remember what Kerass said at the funeral? She lived. I think we should just do it. I had apprehensions about it at first, but I don’t want to hold back anymore.”
“Uh…” Jay didn’t know what to say. He knew he was brining up the topic, yet the proposition was incredibly awkward. But what Gil said made a lot of sense. His mind started racing again. Quieting his mind, he knew what the answer was. He had made his choice.
“What do you say?” Gil asked.
Kerass sat at his mother’s grave. He wished Lyra had a gravestone in the cemetery, but it was her mother’s wishes to not have that reminder. He missed his mother terribly. All he wanted to do was tell her all about Lyra and how much he had loved her and learned from her. Sitting here would have to do for now.
“I’m sorry it’s been so long, Mom.”
“Excuse me, am I interrupting something?” a man asked him standing by the grave right next to his mother’s.
Kerass assured him it was fine. “I’ll keep quiet.”
“You don’t have to. Who is it you’re visiting?”
“My mother. She died two years ago.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s ok,” Kerass told the man. “I think I’m getting used to her being gone.”
“As strange as it is to say, I think that’s a good thing. My name’s River by the way,” the man said holding out his hand.
“Kerass,” he replied taking it. “Who are you visiting?”
“An old girlfriend. Her name was Evergreen Cunningham. She died seven years ago.”
“Have you gotten over it?” Kerass asked testing.
“I think so. I come here every year in remembrance. We weren’t dating at the time of her death, it’s something for years that I regretted, but life carries on. I can’t change the past.”
“We’ve got something in common. I lost my girlfriend, too. She died two weeks ago.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. You’ve experienced a lot of pain in the short span of your life, haven’t you?”
“Hasn’t everyone?” Kerass asked naïvely, hopefully.
River shook his head. “I’m afraid not. It’s been very hard on you. I can see it in your eyes.”
“How did you move on?”
“I got lost in school then, my work now. I’m a professor. Right at the time though, I ended up losing my religion. Nothing in life has ever helped me more than stepping away from Christianity.”
“My girlfriend, Lyra, embraced it before her death. I had fallen away after the death of my mother, even before then to be honest, but Lyra really wanted me to read the Bible and I’m thinking about doing so.”
“I’d advise against it. I don’t think it’ll help you in the long run. It’s a system of rules that are impossible to follow. Reading the Bible will only bring you down. You need something uplifting like Siddhartha. It sounds like you’re on a spiritual journey. I think that book would help you.”
“I’ll think it over,” Kerass promised him.
“I hope you find what you’re looking for. Sometimes I still feel like I’m searching. Anyways, I’d better go,” River said more to himself than to Kerass. “It was nice to have met you, Kerass.”
As River walked away, Kerass looked over to Evergreen Cunningham’s gravestone. He wondered what type of life she had lived. She lived longer than Lyra did in terms of age, but not by much. He wanted to know her story. He had heard of Siddhartha before, but had never considered reading it. His promise to Lyra was bigger though. He would read the Bible first. Forget what River said. Lyra wanted him to read the Christian scriptures. To make her happy, regardless of how he felt about them, he would do it to pay tribute. He felt no need to read Siddhartha. His mother would be delighted to know that he was returning to the Bible. He felt he could be at peace with the two women who meant the most to him by simply reading a book.
Damien lay on the grass by the nature trail. The sunglasses on his face still didn’t block out the sun from his gaze. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. He tried to relax his brain, his mind, but he had trouble focusing. Lyra’s death had impacted him to his core. He couldn’t stop thinking about how he didn’t want his life to get away from him. He would try his best to live in the moment.
One thing he was grateful for was that Kerass was in a much better place than he had been at the start of fall semester. He felt he had made a true friend with him despite the first two years when they had first met back in high school. Confident he had been a true friend to Kerass this year, he knew that when he was down Kerass would be a true friend to him in return.
Someone stepped up beside him, looking down on him. The person blocked the sun from his eyes. Opening his eyes fully, he saw that Jay was standing there.
“Wha-” Damien began.
“Shh,” Jay cut him off. He asked Damien to allow him to speak first. “I made my decision.”
“About?” he responded confused.
Leaning down on one knee, Jay held his arm out. “Take my hand. Stand with me.”
Unable to prevent himself from stopping, from thinking, Damien grabbed his hand and stood up with him.
“It’s you, Damien. I chose you.”
“You know how I feel about waiting for marriage.”
Jay nodded. “I thought what I wanted was just to rush into it, not build it up so much, just get it over with. No, see I don’t want that anymore. I want to be with someone I believe I could live my whole life with. I’m lucky enough to have met him in high school.”
“I thought you were over me last year at prom.”
“It was a rough year for all of us, but through the dark I was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Guess who was standing there waiting for me.”
Damien rolled his eyes. It was so cliché, so stupid, but undeniably sweet. Gazing at his face, he placed his hand on Jay’s face, caressing it. He wiped a stray tear that was falling down. “Are you sure you’re willing to wait for me?”
“I’ve never been more certain of anything else in my entire life. What do you say?”
Thinking over everything they had gone through, he knew what the answer would forever be. “Yes.”
Jay jumped up in his arms. Grasping him, holding him up, they kissed each other. It was easy, effortless, like they had never been apart. He had no doubts then that he had made the right decision.
Julia walked with Kerass towards her car. They had met before the going-away party. He had thanked her profusely for everything she had done for Lyra, but his answer wasn’t what she wanted to hear. He didn’t ask her to stay. Stating it was best for her to take the time she needed away from Oak Stream he reminded her that they would be friends, but he couldn’t be her emotional support as he needed so much emotional support himself.
“Thank you,” Julia said as they stepped inside her car.
“What for?”
“Everything,” she said. She listed several reasons, but found herself babbling. The smile on his face melted her heart. She hadn’t seen him smile like that in years. Summarizing, she said, “For being my friend.”
“I’ll always be your friend, Julia.”
They drove the rest of the way to the party in silence. Tears started to fall down her face. There were so many things that she couldn’t stand about Oak Stream, yet inexplicably, she found herself missing the place already.
The party was a blur. Funny memories, sad memories, wonderful memories were all shared about everyone’s encounters with Julia. Jay had shown up, as well as Damien and Gus. The time went by way too quickly. Before she knew it, it was past midnight. She needed to hit the road. She felt most alive driving with no one else on the road at night. The words that were shared as she prepared to drive off, she would write on her heart forever.
Damien started, “You are a beautiful soul and I’m so thankful to call you one of my best friends.”
Gus continued, “You’ll be welcomed back without question whenever you decide it’s best to return.”
Jay then stated, “I wish I could go with you. You have changed for the better and I wish I had more time with you.”
Kerass concluded, “Promise me you’ll return. Don’t be gone forever. No matter where we go, Oak Stream is home base. Oak Stream is home.”
Hugging each of them in turn, she gave Damien and Kerass a kiss on the cheek and forehead respectively before she got inside her car. Looking in her rearview mirror, she saw all four of them standing in a line waving goodbye to her. Yes, she had friends. She had a family that extended past her bloodline. Nothing else made her prouder as she drove past the town limits.
Kerass was fully awake. It was much harder saying goodbye to Julia than he thought it would be. Yet sitting in Lyra’s home with all the lights on, he knew he’d have to go back to school on Sunday.
Having already placed his transfer, he knew he wouldn’t be with Damien much longer. He would join Jay, Jeremy and Gus at Evergreen Forest starting in the fall. He needed his friends now more than ever and he felt content that with transferring schools he’d be back with his friends. He didn’t want to lose his friendship with Damien, but he would graduate within a year, the others he could spend the next three years with.
Sitting on the couch in the living room, he opened up Lyra’s…no, it was his now, his Bible. Looking through the table of contents, next to the book title Song of Solomon, Lyra had drawn a red heart. The sentence next to the heart said: This is my favorite book.
Flipping through the pages to Song of Solomon, Kerass sat back as he prepared to read the Bible again for the first time in years. He was determined this time to make Lyra happy. He knew both his mother and Lyra were smiling down on him as he opened up the book. Without a thought of anything else, he began reading Song of Solomon.
Staring at him, Cadence believed her glare could kill. The man who had caused her so much pain had no idea what was coming. She had to protect others from him. He would never hurt her again. She had sealed her fate.
“What are you doing?” he asked afraid. He begged her to put it down.
Holding the gun out in front of her, pointing it at his heart, she exhaled while she gently squeezed the trigger.
End of Year 5
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