A drop of sweat fell onto Jay’s shirt. He tried to breathe deeply to calm himself down, but instead his muscles tensed and his heartbeat rose. He couldn’t comprehend why he was doing this. He hadn’t been caught and he hadn’t intentionally left Julia behind. Yet this was the only way he knew how to go about it. He sighed and inhaled holding his breath for 10 seconds before exhaling. That seemed to work, but then his palms started to sweat. There was nothing to it but to just get it over with. He knocked on Mr. Martin’s faculty door within the band room.
“Come in! Come in!” Mr. Martin called jauntily.
Jay waved his hand once awkwardly and then put it by his side embarrassed by how gawky he was.
“Jay,” Mr. Martin said beaming. “I’m so glad you stopped by. What’s going on?”
Hesitation drenched in his voice, Jay admitted that he had something to tell Mr. Martin. “It’s something quite serious actually.”
Mr. Martin told him to take a seat and closed the door behind him. “You can speak freely.”
Say it, say it, say it…Jay commanded himself, but his mouth wouldn’t open. Every atom within him dreaded this moment. He choked up. It was completely embarrassing. He didn’t want to cry in front of an authority figure, but he couldn't stop himself. If his fellow marching band members found out it would be the kiss of death socially within the group, not that he hung out with any of them anyways.
“I was involved with the water tower protest,” Jay finally let out after there were no more tears left to shed.
“Please continue,” Mr. Martin said without revealing how he felt.
“I just didn’t get caught.”
Mr. Martin folded his hands together and thanked him for his honesty. “Was anyone else in my band there?”
Jay shook his head avoiding eye contact. He knew it seemed like he was lying, but he just couldn’t bear being in that room any longer. He screamed internally for his muscles to move, to flee the situation, but he remained unmoving as if his sneakers were glued to the floor.
“Here’s the thing. I’m not kicking you off the team for starters, so you can breathe easy about that.” Mr. Martin said. He continued saying that it was a very bold thing for him to do admitting he was in the wrong even when he hadn’t been caught. “I’m very proud of you for coming forward. However, I can’t let this go unpunished.”
Jay closed his eyes. He knew it. There was no way this could’ve ended well and he secretly beat himself up inside for even allowing a glimmer of hope once Mr. Martin had started talking.
“I can’t allow you to perform with us during the state competition.”
“So you are kicking me off the team…”
“You’re only missing one performance this year.” Mr. Martin said empathetically but with sternness.
Jay couldn’t believe that he was going to miss the most important competition of the entire year. It was almost unbearable.
“However, I cannot deny that you have made an invaluable addition to the color guard and we desperately need male color guards. If you choose to be a part of this team next year, and I hope sincerely that you do, you won’t even have to audition. Your spot’s already reserved.”
With that, Jay couldn’t help but smile. Sure it wasn’t what he had hoped for, but in an odd way, he felt it was fair. He had been punished, that was undeniable, but he had also been built up and complimented in a way that was very rare, but necessary for him to hear. He left the room, not with tears in his eyes, but with a smug smile. Things might end up being all right after all.
Although there was not a cloud in the sky, from the angle that Cadence was standing the top of the water tower blocked any view of the sun. This was the first time that she was seeing the new water tower. It sounded corny in her mind, but it truly was marvelous. She knew the fresh paint would radiate the sun. Instead of ladder rungs straight to the top, the ladder rungs only went halfway up. A spiral staircase around the back led you to the top.
CAUTION: Only authorized personnel may use the ladder, the sticker read on each foot of the tower.
Raising her eyebrows as she looked over at Gus who was standing beside her, she felt contentment. They would be the first of numerous people to break the law stated clearly on the sticker.
It was an odd way to celebrate the new tower, but she couldn’t help but overlook some rules when she was around Gus. He had assured her that after the ceremony the cops wouldn’t be anywhere near the tower and that it would be exactly like it was before. Not a single doubt entered her mind when he said that with such certainty.
His arm extended as a gesture. Without saying anything, he motioned ‘after you’ towards her. She gave him a single nod thanking him.
Her foot felt the first ladder rung. It was sturdy, solid. She trusted it. She started to climb. Gus was close behind her. She could hear his feet and hands as they gripped the rungs of the ladder. She daren’t look down. Completely unaware that she was on level ground, she began to walk up the spiral staircase. Her hand found Gus’ as they finished climbing the stairs.
As she began to sit down, she chose to look out over the forest instead of Main Street. The view took her breath away. They were above the trees and as the wind blew ever so softly, she could almost see ripples and waves among the leaves.
She leaned against Gus’ chest. He put his arm around her. He was the only one who understood that she didn’t want anything to be said in the moment.
Cadence turned her head. Her hand touched his face gently. Time seemed to freeze. She leaned forward and kissed him. His eyes widened. He couldn’t have been surprised. When she looked harder she could tell his eyes weren’t a shocked surprise, they were a happy surprise. He leaned forward and kissed her back. She could feel her hair whipping wildly in the wind that had picked up quite forcefully as they continued to kiss on top of the water tower.
The school parking lot was half full. More of a turn out than was expected, considering the lack of advertisement for the play’s opening night. Kerass pulled through into the Principal’s parking spot with mischievous glee. So what if he could never do this to her face. It was fun in the moment.
Another car pulled up right beside him. He gave pause until the engine was shut off. Recognizing who it was stepping out of the car, he shook his head with a sly smile.
“You took my spot…shame,” Gus said completely straight-faced.
Kerass just shrugged his shoulders in response.
“I knew you had a rebellious bone in your body,” Gus said with a dash of depravity. “I’m proud of you for sticking it to the system.”
“It’s not that bad,” Kerass began. He continued saying that it was the closest spot to the main doors. “You do have me pegged though, I don’t really like our principal.”
“Called it.”
Kerass raised his eyebrows in mock agreement. Gus was cool, and although they hadn’t spent much time together, Kerass had grown to like Gus quite a bit.
“You’re a good friend, Gus,” Kerass said.
Gus avoided eye contact, but Kerass thought nothing of it. Gus wasn’t a very sentimental guy and that was fine. He already had a sentimental friend in Jay.
“Do you want to, oh I don’t know,” Kerass paused taking a breath, “maybe like chill this weekend?”
Gus looked straight at him. “That’d be great man, but unfortunately I have to help out at my boss’ brother’s farm this weekend. It’s hell week for them.”
“You’re helping out your boss’ brother doing farm work?” Kerass asked floored.
“Yeah,” Gus replied simply. “But we’ll chill later, for sure.”
Kerass smiled content as they walked into the school doors right outside the auditorium. Gus walked right past him holding a ticket in hand. Kerass actually hadn’t prepared, only deciding at the last second to come and support Cadence and the new girl Lyra. He caught Cadence’s eye as she stepped out of the theater classroom. He motioned over to her beckoning her to come over.
Only one question was on his mind. Why did he always struggle asking Cadence questions that were truly on his mind? She wasn’t judging him, he knew that, but he couldn’t help but be a little tense around her. His feelings for her hadn’t waned over time as he had hoped. They hadn’t grown stronger either, they just sort of lingered unfinished and if there was one thing that bothered Kerass more than anything else it was unfinished ties.
After exchanging the most basic form of pleasantries, which Kerass wasn’t even paying any attention to what he was saying, he asked, “Can we be friends, you know?”
“Kerass we’ve always been friends,” Cadence said.
This wasn’t fully true. There were times when they had chased each other without the other party reciprocating the feelings, even moments of betrayal, particularly during freshmen year. Kerass shuddered at the thought of freshmen year. He was such an idiot. Don’t relive it, don’t relive it, he commanded himself internally.
“I mean, like, you and Gus.” He continued saying that they had a really strong friendship. “And I was just thinking, why not us?”
“You’re saying you want to hang out more?”
Kerass nodded.
“Pick a time.”
“I’m free this weekend.”
Cadence’s eyes fell to the floor. “I can’t this weekend. I’ll actually be out of town helping out a close friend.”
Kerass told her that was completely understandable.
“But I’ll probably be back Sunday afternoon, and I mean, we’ve gotta study for the SATs the following weekend,” she explained.
“Great! 3 in the afternoon work for you?”
“Count on it!”
“Sweet…” Kerass smiled locking eyes with her. “Well, break a leg!”
Cadence smiled as she reassured him that she wasn’t going to perform. “But I’ll pass it on to Lyra. Trust me, you’ll like her.”
“Any friend of yours is a friend of mine.”
Kerass awaited a response, but Cadence just walked away. He was miffed initially, but then determined that she must be on a schedule. He would have done the same thing. He bought his ticket and walked into the auditorium with five minutes to spare. Jay motioned over to him. He walked over and sat down pleased with how everything had gone.
“I have something to share with you,” Jay said the moment Kerass sat down.
“You know you can tell me anything, Jay,” Kerass said.
“I’m friends with Julia. I know you might be upset, but-” Jay started.
“Why would I be upset by that?” Kerass began. He continued saying that it was fine. “Don’t underestimate me, bud. I am not the judgmental prick I was two years ago.”
“You were never a prick.”
Julia cleared her throat. Kerass and Jay snapped with a start. She beamed at them.
“Might I sit down?” she asked.
They both nodded in unison. It was very cute. Julia told them as she sat down that it was completely obvious that both of them had been best friends forever.
They didn’t respond, simply blinking at her.
“I just wanted to tell you,” she continued trying to save skin, “that you two are the best friends I’ve ever had. You’re the best friends anybody could ask for.”
“Ok then,” Kerass murmured.
Jay remained silent clearly avoiding the topic.
The lights went out and for 2 and a half hours, Julia was whisked away from her problems. Lyra was incredible on the stage. She was made to be up there. Her emotional vulnerability and depth was unmatched by any other cast mate. As the final scene came to a close, Julia turned to look at her ‘friends’. Kerass held a half smile, while Jay was laughing so hard that he was crying, his face redder than a beet. Julia couldn’t help it. She was balling. What she saw on that stage were characters that loved and accepted each other no matter what. This was something that, when she looked over at Kerass and Jay, she knew she didn’t have.
She didn’t remember the curtain call, or how quickly or slowly she ended up in her car. She no longer wailed. She felt dead inside. Acknowledging that she had no friends, she determined there was only one thing left to do.
She cried out to God saying, “God, please if you’re there, please give me a friend. I know it’s my fault because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut, but I ask you, no I beg you to give me a friend, anyone who will be loyal. Please, please, please…” she trailed off.
It was in that moment that she determined she would begin to skip again. She didn’t care that she had a final on the following Monday. Screw school! She started up her car and began her journey. She wasn’t going home. Taking a journey that she hadn’t yet taken was appealing to her. She just started driving wherever the road took her. She needed to take this journey to anywhere.
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