Cadence beamed at Kerass. She had always been afraid to show off her smile before. Even though her dentist told her that she had perfectly healthy teeth hers weren’t white. She was tired of all the why don’t you brush questions. But with Kerass all her insecurities vanished.
“You know, you have a beautiful smile,” Kerass said which only made her blush even more. He wasn’t the subtlest flirt in the world, but she had no complaints. The most popular guy in the freshmen class was complementing her on her smile. Her thoughts raced forward. She had the potential to be the most popular girl in their class, which had never happened before in her life. The thought of being most popular had never been all that appealing to her, but the closer she got to it the more she wanted it. Her desires were screaming at her to get it.
Then her smile disappeared. Kerass asked her if something was wrong. “It’s nothing,” she replied. “I’ll see you at the game.” She immediately began to feel guilty. Kerass came. He was the only person who showed. He wasn’t looking for a date he was looking for support. Her wants and desires couldn’t get in the way of that. Her thoughts changed from guilt to self-loathing. She hated herself for thinking of their relationship going so quickly. She hardly knew anything about him.
“Hey, don’t worry,” he said. “I’m sure Jay’s a shoe in for joining.” His words broke her train of thought instantly. She thanked him again for caring so much about the peer support group and bid him farewell.
The bell rang signifying the end of the day. Football Fridays meant the school let out early, but they had to stay for a pep rally. Jay utterly hated the pep rallies. As much as he loved Kerass as his best friend, he just couldn’t stand not being the center of attention, not being in the spotlight. He often called himself a theater embryo. Performing was his passion.
“Hey,” she said. To his utmost surprise, Cadence was standing next to him as he was walking down the hallway. He couldn’t pinpoint why she would even want to be near him. She was so obviously into Kerass. The whole peer support group was just a way for her to get into his life. It was utterly pathetic. “Can we sit next to each other during the pep rally? I don’t really have anybody else to sit next to seeing that Kerass is in it.”
“Sure, I mean why not?” he asked his eyes alit with fire. This was it. It was the perfect opportunity to ruin her image of Kerass, to keep her away from him. “Ladies first,” he said opening the door for her to the school’s gymnasium.
Small talk wasn’t a specialty for either of them as they sat waiting for the pep rally to begin. The usual stupid peppy stuff happened. The cheerleaders came out and did a cheer. One cheerleader was nearly dropped, there was that one awkward guy who could jump into a full split that was incredibly painful for everyone to watch. The guy just kept on smiling while some girls bizarrely cheered him on. Then the dance team came on. They did some unbelievably inappropriate dance number that was cut short. They were quickly rushed out of the gym.
“You never saw this in Lutheran private school,” Cadence commented.
“Really? You went to private school?” he asked in response. She nodded and immediately explained that it had nothing to do with religion. She was easily impressionable, so they placed her in a Christian private school that would look out for her. “Why’d you switch over to public?”
“You really don’t need to know,” she said. Her glare told him everything. He wouldn’t ask her anything else about it.
After another 10 minutes of presenting people from fall teams he had never heard talked about in the hallways, the freshmen football team came out. Nobody cared about any other sport other than football at Oak Stream High. Kerass came out last after his other teammates were called out. Everyone stood up cheering. Kerass was getting a standing ovation.
“Cadence is in love with you!” Jay cried out. Nobody else aside from Kerass and Cadence heard it above the roar of the crowd but the poison had already started to spread. Mission accomplished, he thought to himself.
Cadence didn’t say a word to Jay after they walked out of the pep rally. She knew Kerass had heard what he shouted. She couldn’t tell if she was angry because he told Kerass or because he was right about what he said. There wasn’t anything that could be done. He already knew. She debated whether staying after school to see the football game was a good decision after all, but her mom already told her that she was going to pick her up and her cell phone didn’t have reception at the school.
The game was free for students with an ID. As packed out as the freshmen games usually were, this was a surprisingly small turnout. Friday afternoons were not the best time for people to stay and watch a football game. Freshmen games were usually played on Monday nights. The fact that the team always dominated the field made everyone’s Mondays a lot brighter. Cadence sat down near the top of the bleachers. She was hoping she wouldn’t be bothered or even noticed by Jay. As the time kept ticking away she realized that Jay wasn’t in the stands at least not the stands she was in. It was then that she noticed that she was in the away team stands. Shaking her head at her utter stupidity she got up and went to the home team stands. While a little fuller, the stands weren’t as packed out as people had promised. She decided to sit lower in the stands closer to the field to get a better look at Kerass while he played. Jay wasn’t anywhere in the home stands either. It couldn’t possibly be that he had grown a conscience since the pep rally. Even though she had only spent time with him then, that seemed out of character for him.
Number 22. That was the number of his jersey. She watched him as he made play after play that seemed to inevitably turn into a touchdown. She never watched football that often, but she had never seen a team dominate so strongly during a football game before. After he played an entire quarter, they were up by 50 points, so he was taken out and given a break on the bench. He turned around noticing that she was in the stands. He smiled at her and waved. She found herself smiling and waving back. She couldn’t control herself when he looked at her.
A tiny piece of his jersey near his chest caught the sunlight nearly blinding her. It was then that she noticed that he was wearing a necklace: a silver necklace with a cross on it. He must have been wearing it underneath his shirt every time she saw him. Either that or she was just completely oblivious that it was there. It was almost like an immediate turn off. As much as she liked Kerass and truly wanted to help him, she couldn’t stand all the hypocrites that claimed to be gracious professing truth based on a fictional account of some dead guy. She stood up and began to walk out.
Kerass called out after her as she walked past the bench. He asked her why she was leaving telling her that he wanted her to stay at the same time. “You obviously heard what Jay told you,” she said, her voice annoyed yet barely above a whisper.
“Yeah,” he said his voice breathy. “Is it true?”
“You know it is,” she said fighting to keep control of herself. His face lit up beaming.
“Good, I was hoping it was.”
She looked him straight in the eyes. “Listen,” she began explaining that she noticed the cross he wore. She told him that she wasn’t religious and that she wanted nothing to do with it, but she still wanted to be with him.
He responded that he wanted that too. “Stay,” he begged her, “for me.”
His eyes were glistening. She couldn’t take her eyes off of him. She told him that she would. She went back to the stands and sat down.
Jay sat at his desk at home. He hated what he had done during the pep rally. Their relationship wasn’t any of his business, even if he was Kerass’ best friend. He began to think through why he did it. He wasn’t usually a spiteful person. Flashing back through every second of that pep rally, he realized he didn’t like who he had become. He deserved to be let go from the school play. No man with an ego his size should ever have a lead role. He was always making the same mistakes.
He opened up his spiral notebook. Tucked and folded inside the separator was a flier for the Gay Straight Alliance. The slogan read: Do you believe in tolerance? Do you believe in acceptance? OR Do you believe in equality? He closed his eyes as tears started to form and run down his face. Silently begging that it wasn’t true, that it wasn’t a mistake. He put the flier back inside the notebook.
He knew why he had acted the way he did during the pep rally. He was just hoping and wishing with all he had that he didn’t have to accept it. His friendship with Kerass wasn’t just a friendship to him. He had an undeniable crush on Kerass. His cell phone rang at his desk. Kerass was calling him. He ignored the call immediately sending Kerass to voicemail. Tears flew down his face as he gasped for air. He hoped and begged whatever higher power he was calling out to that he wouldn’t lose his best friend over this.
Kerass knocked on the front door. His best friend was never good at keeping secrets from him and he knew he was hiding something. He wouldn’t have skipped out on the game that he promised to go to unless he was trying to hide something. The door opened slowly. The puffy red eyes told him everything: Jay had been crying.
“Please, not now, Kerass,” Jay begged closing the door on him.
Kerass’ hand stopped him. “What’s going on? What’s wrong Jay?” he asked.
Jay started up crying again. Kerass tried to hug him, but Jay pushed him back with more force than he had ever seen from him. “Don’t, just don’t ok.”
“Please tell me,” Kerass pleaded with him. “I want to help in any way I can.”
Jay was sobbing by that point. “I have something I need to tell you,” he said in between sobs.
“What?” Kerass responded. “Tell me,” he said as gently as he possibly could. “Please.”
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